just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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