Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
