I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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