dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
