i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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