Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
