I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
