We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just had sex on a roof
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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