I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
