I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
