I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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