i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have aggressive nipples.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
