In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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