My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
