and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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