Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
