If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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