we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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