She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
