where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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