she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
