I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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