So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
