You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh god it's open bar.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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