I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
