What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
