whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
