ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
