shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
