I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
