i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
