I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
