I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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