That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
