i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
