kristin has been a bad kristin
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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