1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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