sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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