Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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