i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
