Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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