Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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