Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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