After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
