took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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