This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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