Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
