i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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