Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Randomize
