Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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