i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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