I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
